Hello everyone! As part of Short Story Saturday, I have posted another short story, this one entitled Confabulation during the Consumption of Morningtide Comestibles. Please enjoy. The original writing prompt is taken from https://www.writersdigest.com/prompts/one-shot
“You seem to have quite an appetite this morning,” the woman muttered as she took the plate from the man seated at the kitchen table. He had just finished eating his third bagel and second instant waffle of the morning.
The man smirked. “Samantha, my darling spouse, I’m averse to admit that my gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety.”
“Uh-huh.” the brunette sighed. “Cute. On a different topic, would you mind if my sister visited tonight?”
“The gourmand?” the stout bearded gentleman asked. He placed his fist gently down on the table mocking a fist slam. “Banning her from my abode, preposterous to even entertain such a sentiment. Nay, delectation of her comestibles shall commence tonight!”
Samantha rolled her eyes so hard they practically rolled out of her skull. “If you say so. I think I’ll take off early from work, then. Do you think you’d be able to do the same?”
“Lamentably, no,” the man said as he slumped his shoulders and looked downward dejectedly, “A triumvirate of mountebanks hold Machiavellian dominance over that epoch of existence.”
His wife looked at him askance as she placed the dishes in the sink. “Triumvirate? Don’t you work for a board of directors? Also, I don’t think you used the words ‘mountebanks’ or ‘Machiavellian’ properly.” After a moment’s pause, she continued. “I suppose if you stretch the definitions a bit and kind of infer that you are using hyperbole to insult your bosses than those words would work. It’s a bit of stretch though.”
“Indubitably. My lexicon exceeds conventional personage.”
“I know what you’re doing, Allen. You’ve made your point.”
A look of anger entered the man’s eyes and he wore a snarl on his face. “Are you implying my newfound vernacular was birthed from our tete-a-tete in the boudoir? Poppycock! Edification is the watchword! The aspiration was born of the yearning of self-improvement.”
Samantha slammed her hands onto the kitchen table and stared her husband in the eyes. “Look, I didn’t mean to criticize your vocabulary. I just wanted you to stop dropping ‘f-bombs’ and using other four-letter words as adjectives, especially since most of them are technically nouns or verbs. Besides, who do you think you’re fooling? I know that you learned most of those words from that episode of The Simpsons.”
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2 thoughts on “Short Story Saturday: Confabulation during the Consumption of Morningtide Comestibles”
That’s a funny take. He got his vocabulary the same place you did, I think.
The Simpsons taught me how to increase my wordiness.