Ghosts are Assholes Launches Today!

Ghosts are Assholes Launches Today!

Happy to announce that my first book, Ghosts are Assholes, published by World Castle Publishing, LLC, is launched today on Amazon and other online sites in e-book and paperback form. Please see the main page for more details or click on the image above to get to the Amazon order page. If you enjoy the story, please feel free to submit a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or any other review site you can think of. Please subscribe to the blog for more updates and short stories in the future. I hope to write more novels in the future as well so please look out for that too.

As a bit of a celebration of the release, please read a bonus short story involving the adventures of everyone’s favorite medium, Vincent Pietro. It is entitled The Friendliest Ghost I Know:

“Are you sure you want to go in here?” Vincent asked. He was directing his question toward the apparition standing beside him. Both were near a blue door outside a white rambler.

“I have to know exactly what happened,” the poltergeist explained.

“Ed pretty much told us. He’s one of my closest friends and the most trustworthy man I know.”

“It’s not that I doubt the veracity of your friend the desk sergeant. I just need to confirm.”

“Your memories still haven’t returned?”

The ghost shook his head. “Actually, most of them have. Just not the most important one.”

With a nod, Vincent knocked. A few short moments later, a brunette in a white sweater and pink pants answered the door.

“Hello,” she said in a saccharine voice. “May I help you?”

“We talked over the phone. I’m Casper’s cousin.”

Her eyes lit up as if in recognition. “Ah yes, that’s right. What did you say your name was again?”

“Edward Freeman,” Vincent lied.

“Right, like the actor, or I should say late actor I suppose. Anyway, please come in.” The woman led Vincent through the living room and toward the stairs. His ghostly acquaintance floated over his shoulder all the while as he traipsed through the home.

“I’m surprised Casper never mentioned you,” the woman said as she headed way up the stairs with Vincent a step behind.

“Eh, family must have not been that important to Casper, at least not extended family.” Vincent nearly bumped into the woman who had stopped suddenly.

She turned and glared daggers at him as she barked, “Not important? Most families don’t have annual reunions nevertheless the quarterly ones Casper put together. And who else could name all of the members of his extended family.” Almost as if on cue, the apparition began to do just that.

After a short pause, Vincent explained. “I have to level with you. I’m kind of the black sheep of the family. A couple of years ago I got really big into Scientology, I mean really big. I only came to my senses a couple of months ago. Even then it was quite the legal battle to get myself out of there. I wanted to reunite with my dear cousin, but by the time I escaped, he was already gone.”

The woman’s visage suddenly turned sympathetic. A hand found its way over her lips as a light gasp escaped them. “Oh dear, Scientology? No wonder we never heard about you. Casper hated Scientology.”

“Yes, I’m well aware,” Vincent groaned. His ghostly companion had just begun sermonizing about the horrors of the aforementioned religion.

She then smiled softly before resuming her ascent. Vincent dutifully followed along with Casper. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have met under more pleasant circumstances,” she said. “And that you couldn’t see your cousin once more. I assure you, it was an accident, though I’m sure that will become quite apparent once you see her. Have you ever met Melinda?”

Vincent shook his head. “I’m afraid I haven’t.”

“What a shame. She’s not the same girl she used to be. She used to be so happy, so energetic, and so eager to enjoy life. Never was that more true than when she was with Casper. Oh, my, did she adore that man. And he adored her too. No doubt in my mind that the two of them were very much in love.” There was a long pause. She turned to Vincent, closed her eyes, and slowly shook her head. “Such a shame. They had only been married for about a year when it happened.”

Now on the second floor, the woman led the man down the short hallway to the bedroom door at the end. “Melinda,” she said knocking on the door. “It’s me, Tiffany. I’m with Edward. Would you mind if I come in?”

“Who’s Edward?” the voice from behind the door asked.

“Casper’s cousin.”

The voice from behind the door spoke with a fury. “Casper had a cousin named Edward? How come he never told me?”

“He was a Scientologist until recently,” Tiffany softly replied.

The voice was notably lighter if not a little bit pitying. “Oh, that explains it.”

“Can we come in?”

There was another long pause before the voice answered tersely, “Fine.”

Tiffany opened the bedroom door. A young woman with brunette hair was staring listlessly out the room’s only window with her puffy pink eyes. Firmly gripped in one hand was a damp baby-blue handkerchief. Next to her was a table full of assorted food on plates, all of which were untouched. Behind her was an unmade queen bed. The furniture, the various decorations, and tchotchkes that surrounded her were all covered with a layer of dust. Casper flew by the woman’s side.

“Honey,” Tiffany said as she stepped inside. “You haven’t touched your food. You have to eat.”

“I wasn’t hungry,” Melinda replied curtly.

“But if you don’t eat, you’ll get sick.”

Melinda shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“I know you’re depressed, but please eat, Melinda. I worry about you so much. The whole family does.”

Melinda scoffed. “Sure as hell Casper’s parents aren’t worried about me.”

“Are you kidding? Xavier and Beatrice called me this morning to check up on you. They worry about you as much as anybody.”

Melinda gestured out the window with her head. “Beautiful sunset, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is, but I’m not sure what that has to do with-”

“Casper would have loved that sunset. He loved sunsets almost as much as he loved me.” Her voice began low, almost demonic. “Then I shot him.” Tears suddenly streamed down Melinda’s face in torrents. She began to wail while shrieking repeatedly, “I killed him! I killed him! Don’t you realize? I! Killed! Him!”

Tiffany rushed to the manic woman’s side. “I’m sorry,” she said to Vincent while facing away from him. Her concentration was on trying to calm Melinda down. “She thought he was an intruder. She pulled the trigger before she realized who it was. Hit him right between the eyes. He was dead almost instantly. In some sort of sick, cruel irony, it was the only time she ever hit what she was firing at.”

“I remember everything now,” Casper said as knelt next to his wife while trying in vain to hold her hand. “I returned home from Santa Barbara a day early. I should have called but I thought it’d be funny to play a little trick on her. I snuck in but made a little too much noise. Scared and alone, she grabbed the gun and fired.”

“Ed said it was an accident,” Vincent muttered.

“Yes, but now I remember how and why.” Casper positioned himself so that he was in front of his wife. “Melinda, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. I forgive you for everything. The whole thing was my fault. You have to move on with your life. I don’t want you to spend the rest of it staring out the window crying your pretty little eyes out. I’m not worth it. Smile for me.”

Casper began to fade. A melancholy smile crept onto his face. “Please do it for me.” The man had disappeared by the time he finished his sentence.

For a moment, the tears stopped and Melinda stared where Casper was kneeling. She then turned towards her sister and said, “I don’t care what you say, Tiffany. You can’t deny that I killed him.” Her voice became progressively louder. “I killed him. I killed him! I! Killed! Him!”

“I think I should leave,” Vincent said though he was already beginning to back out the door.

“Yes, I think that would be the best,” Tiffany said somberly. “I’m sorry about this Edward. I thought seeing one of Casper’s family members would help. Obviously, it did not. I’m sure she’ll feel better one day. I’ll give you a call when she does.”

“Oh… oh yeah, right. Of course, yes, I’ll definitely wait for that call,” Vincent said as he made a mental note to change his telephone number. “I guess I’ll catch you later.”

“Goodbye, Edward. It was a pleasure meeting you.”

Vincent left the room. As he plodded down the stairs, he couldn’t help but mutter, “Even Casper didn’t thank me. They never thank me. Assholes.”

If you enjoyed this story, then you will love Ghosts are Assholes, my novel that is available for purchase here. I would also urge you to share this story with others too if you enjoyed it and comment below. Thank you for reading my story. Also, find more by clicking this(short story) link or this(genre and tags) link or this(story list) link. I would also urge you to share this story with others and comment below.


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